I sat yesterday in the choir loft at the church I was baptised in. It was a strange sort of turn of events, singing with the choir I watched for so many years from the pews. Well, perhaps "watch" is too strong a verb - I was sitting in a pew with a baby (because even at age 7 I loved kids) and only glanced up occasionally to make sure my mother hadn't dropped dead while she was singing. (She never did, by the way - she was singing two altos down on Sunday.)
But while I sat in the choir loft, I was swarmed with seemingly silly memories of my time there. Of volleyball and girl scouts and Sunday night Hymn Sings. The last one hit me like a ton of bricks - I could remember exactly where I sat on those Sundays (always the fifth Sunday of the month) and which song I would request. Hymn 593. I haven't picked up a Methodist Hymnal since I switched churches in 1996, but I could still remember the hymn number. And in case you don't have your hymnal handy, I've reprinted the words here. I've left the chorus to last - I remember belting out those words with the sort of faith and promise only a child can deliver. It is my fervent prayer that I can again discover that unfettered faith.
Hymn 593: Here I Am, Lord
I, the Lord of sea and sky,
I have heard my people cry.
All who dwell in dark and sin,
My hand will save.
I, who made the stars of night,
I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear my light to them?
Whom shall I send?
I, the Lord of snow and rain,
I have borne my people’s pain.
I have wept for love of them.
They turn away.
I will break their hearts of stone,
Give them hearts for love alone.
I will speak my words to them.
Whom shall I send?
I, the Lord of wind and flame,
I will send the poor and lame.
I will set a feast for them.
My hand will save.
Finest bread I will provide,
'Til their hearts be satisfied.
I will give my life to them.
Whom shall I send?
Chorus
Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?
I have heard you calling in the night.
I will go, Lord, if you lead me.
I will hold your people in my heart.
Amen.
2 comments:
Oh my gosh that is one of my favorite hymns, too. I remember when I fell in love with it - was at Asbury Hills retreats somewhere around 6th grade/7th grade. It's an amazing song...I think either at camp or maybe at a retreat there one weekend our the was actually "Here I Am, Lord" - I must have worn that shirt out! Anyway, just wanted to say - also I am in love with that hymn...and yes, it is strange to go back to the church where you gerw up...for me, since birth...to walk the same halls where I first came to the nursery and then preschool...and on up through it all...yes, it's strange...and surreal...and beautiful. I love you.
I've never heard the hymn, but I was struck by the title and the lyrics and the image of your 7 year old self earnestly belting it. Wow.
I love you.
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